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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After my coffee disaster, I decide to explore more. I hit up the Markt, which is this cute little square. There’s a market going on, and I’m like, “Yes! Food!” I grab some stroopwafels. OMG, they’re heavenly. I’m munching away, and I see this old lady selling flowers. She’s got this huge smile, and I’m thinking, “I should buy some for my mom.” But then I remember I’m broke. So, I just smile back and keep walking.

Anger as Swastika scratched on Leek's Nicholson War Memorial